I like people who make promises and keep them. I like it when people show up early. I like it when someone says they’re going to do something, and they get it done on time. I like it when you can count on someone. I mean really count on them.
Some of my closest and most intimate friendships have developed over time because I know I can count on those friends in a serious way. And I think that most people are always looking for more people in their lives that they can count on in this serious way.
We all mess up. I do. You do. Our friends and family do. And that’s fine.
Even though we mess up, we should keep in mind what it means to make a commitment to someone, or some group of people.
This is probably one of my favorite passages ever. Period. It gets right to the heart of everything that is good and sacred about an oath.
It comes from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, one of the Four Classics in Chinese literature. The passage where Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei swear an oath of allegiance to each other in a peach tree garden.
Fei said, “There is a peach garden in the rear of my estate, and the flowers are now in full bloom; tomorrow, we should conduct a sacrificial ceremony to heaven and earth. We three should become brothers, joining forces with a common purpose, and later we will be able to accomplish great deeds.” Xuande and Yunchang both responded in unison, “An excellent idea!” The following day, they prepared sacrificial offerings such as a black bull and a white horse. The three of them all burned incense, and performed double obeisance. They all took an oath, saying, “When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose, and come to each other’s aid in times of crisis. We shall avenge the nation from above, and pacify the citizenry from below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the gods of heaven and earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may the gods in heaven strike us dead.” Having completed the oath, Xuande was declared to be eldest brother, followed by Guan Yu, with Zhang Fei as the most junior brother. They made thorough offerings to heaven and earth, and then butchered the bull. They also brought out some wine, and gathered together all of the brave men of the county. They recruited more than three hundred men, so they proceeded to get thoroughly drunk in the peach garden.
Source with juxtaposed original text, alternate.
The music I imagine them listening to while they got drunk.
What do I like most about this passage?
The ceremony and sacrifice lend a divine importance to their oath. A lot of people make promises that they don’t take seriously, but not these guys.
These guys don’t fuck around.
It’s not like “Yes, I promise to have that thing done for you by tomorrow.” and then you watch a movie instead. It’s not like “We’ll meet for drinks or lunch on Monday and talk about that thing together.” and then you cancel because you don’t feel like going.
These guys sacrifice animals – they give up something scarce and valuable – to commemorate how seriously they take what they’re saying. How seriously they take each other. It’s like: they would rather give up that valuable thing than break their oath. Sort of like a divine escrow or something.
Do I think that people should take everything that seriously? Or that every agreement or promise be marked with the sacrifice of a goat?
Of course not.
But the times when people get serious and really decide to do something together and not fuck around are potent. They get you drunk and high. Those moments have the potential energy locked up all inside of them to shift and alter the course of all lives involved. That kind of partnership, of friendship, of companionship, of brother/sisterhood is a powerful sort of thing.
The Oath of the Peach Tree Garden brings all involved from state x: being three dudes with a common purpose to state y: where they hold each other, and hold their commitment to each other as sacred and inviolable.
Their words have power.
And really, any promise/commitment/oath you make to someone else does the exact same thing. Regardless of whether or not you honestly intend to keep it.
Just something to remember the next time you’re entering into an agreement, a partnership, making a promise or commitment to someone else. Or to yourself.